I've Got A Certified Man-Catcher!

Okay, guys. Valentine's day is fast approaching. DO NOT be one of those men scrounging around the left-over "slim pickings" on the Valentine's Day card aisle at Wal Mart on February 14. Go get your sweetie something good... NOW!  And ladies...do not buy that man something that you would like on Valentine's Day. Do not embarrass that man with flowers at work. Get him something a man likes, please. 

Write your sweetie a love letter before Valentine's Day. Don't wait until then to tell them how you feel. And by all means...if you have a Christian spouse or Christian boyfriend or girlfriend, then be thankful. I know she may not be as thin as she used to and he may not have as much hair as he used to. I'm sure that the two of you can think of plenty of little things that just drive each other crazy. However, having a Christian mate is a priceless treasure. Find a way today to thank your mate for being a Christian companion to you. Ladies, go out and buy the book "The Love Dare" that came from the movie Fireproof and start doing all the little love dares. Men, why don't you send your wife some flowers, today? I promise you that you will like the results!

Be sure to take time today to thank God for your Christian mate. Check out some of Stormie O'Martian's books such as "The Power of a Praying Wife" or "The Power of a Praying Husband" and get in the habit of praying specific scripture prayers for your spouse every day. When you pray specifically for your spouse each day, you will be surprised at how your feelings for that person will deepen, even if things are not so "rosy" between the two of you right now. Make time each day for you and your spouse to pray together. Be thankful that you have one another and that you both have Christ as the center of your relationship.

I got a random text message from a friend recently that said, "I just want a Christian man. Why is that so hard?" Honey, if I knew the answer to that one, I'd be a wealthy woman right now! Seems lately that all my single friends are looking a good Christian man and some of the married folks I know are looking a way out. I guess the grass is always greener on the other side. (Or at least the devil wants you to think that it is. I saw a facebook post a while back that said "The grass is greener over the septic tank, too!" ).

There is a store in Goldsboro that I like to visit on my lunch break. They sell purses, shoes, and lots of sparkly, shiny (perhaps, gaudy) costume jewelry...and I LOVE IT! The owner gets all excited when I come in. (Yes, I know why he gets all excited. Its not me he wants to see, its that green stuff in my wallet!)  We like to tease and joke with one another. He's one of those salesmen that tell you how fabulous you look in everything you try on. I just laugh at him and tell him that he should be selling used cars. A few months ago, I visited the store and eyed a purple rhinestone ring. It was one of those large stretch rings that are popular now. The owner spotted me eyeing the rings. He said, "Oh, you need to get one of those. They're certified man-catchers."  I joked right back and said,"In that case, I'll buy one for every finger!"

I settled for a large purple ring and a large, clear rhinestone one as well. After wearing one of the rings a few times, I decided that the store owner was actually correct! Those rings draw a lot of attention. Every time I wear one of them, I will get several comments through out the day. The rings may not be certified man-catchers but they are certainly attention-getters. If you place one of them on your left ring finger it does draw attention to the fact that you are not wearing a wedding ring. So...maybe he really did know what he was talking about!

Yesterday, I was sitting at a restaurant and an older couple sat at the table beside me. I was wearing the clear, rhinestone stretch ring. The gentleman said, "Wow, that's some ring you're wearing. I've never bought my wife one like that before. I bought her the ring she's wearing fifty-three years ago . I had to save up a long time to buy that ring. I've tried to buy her a better one a few times over the years, but she won't let me. She's still wearing that one. I went into the jewelry store to buy that ring fifty-three years ago and I got a parking ticket while I was in the store. I've still got the parking ticket at home".  He just smiled to himself. I smiled back and said, "No, that ring she's wearing could never be replaced."  I told them the funny story about the salesman calling my ring a man-catcher.The wife leaned over and looked at my ring. She said, "It is a pretty ring...just on someone else's finger".


Isn't that sweet? They were such a beautiful little couple. The wife admired my ring, but admitted that it wasn't for her. That's an example of a true love story. She was sticking with the one that she had. That's what a Christian relationship is all about. When I walked out to leave the restaurant, the gentleman smiled at me and said, "Good luck with that ring. I hope you find what you're looking for!"

Men and women were created with a longing to find a partner. God made us that way. When God made Adam, he said, "It is not good for man to be alone". God created Eve especially for Adam. Everyone has a longing to find that "someone special". When we do find our marriage partner, we are supposed to be together for a life-time commitment, like the sweet little couple above.

Matthew 19:4-6

He answered, “Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female, and said, ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’. So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.”

Whether you have found you lifetime partner or if you're still single and looking, its not easy. The single life can be hard and married life can be difficult, too. Well, here's my advice to all:

If you're single and on the dating scene, don't settle. Having been single for the last two years, I've learned that the single scene is rough these days and the whole dating game has changed. (People asking you out on Facebook, really??)  Just stick to your standards.
If you are a Christian, you will be much happier alone than you will if you date a non-Christian. Now, I don't just mean just find someone that goes to church or someone that believes that God exists. I mean a true Bible-reading, praying, testifying, praising CHRISTIAN. Folks will say anything to get you to go out with them. Folks will visit church and pretend to be interested when they are still chasing you. You need someone who has a strong faith of their own, with or without you!

When someone asks me out, I don't even consider a dinner, a lunch or even a coffee until I know what their relationship is with Jesus Christ. Now, some folks may say, "What would it hurt to at least talk or go out for coffee? You could at least get a nice meal out of it." NOPE!  I ask any man that wants to date me, "What is your relationship with Jesus Christ?" Some never make it past that question! Then, I ask, "What is God doing in your life right now?" That can be quite amusing, actually, because some folks have no idea how to answer that question. Single folks, I promise you that if someone can't answer that question they are not the right man or woman for you! Don't give up too soon. If you settle for dating Mr. or Mrs. Right Now, because you are bored and just want someone to hang out with, you may miss The Mrs. Right or The Mr. Right that GOD has for you!

If you're married, then stop looking! Nothing good will ever come of comparing your spouse to someone else. (You don't know what the other person is like behind closed doors any way!)  If you and your spouse are both Christian, then thank God! Do whatever you can do to work through any issues that you have. If you're in a rough patch right now, do all that you can to work it out, even if you're the only one trying. Somebody has to make the first move. Let it be you! Get on your knees and start praying. Go to a Christian marriage counselor, even if you have to go by yourself. There are hundreds of books available by Christian authors and counselors on this subject. Dr. Gary Smalley, Dr. Gary Chapman, Drs. Les & Leslie Parrott and Dr. Emerson Eggerich have all written excellent books on the subject. There are many more books on the subject that can be found at a Christian bookstore or on Amazon.com.

If things are good in your relationship, then celebrate! Let your spouse know what a blessing they are to you. Praise them and start doing some acts of service or kindness that they are not expecting. Find ways to grow as a Christian couple.

Proverbs 5:18 May your fountain be blessed, and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth.

If you are married and you are a Christian and your spouse it not...that's not easy. Don't nag. Just pray. Check out "Beloved Unbeliever" by Jo Berry or "How to Pray When He Doesn't Believe" by Maureen "Mo" Tizzard. Both books are excellent. Just keep praying. Don't ever give up on them!

1 Corinthians 7:13-14

And if a Christian woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to continue living with her, she must not leave him. For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy.

The same scripture above applies to Christian men who are married to unbelieving wives. Don't ever give up. Keep praying and believing for their salvation. Be persistent, regardless of how things look. The Bible says that the effectual, fervent prayer of the righteous availeth much! That means there's power in your persistent prayers! Just remember that you are not fighting against "flesh and blood" (your spouse), you are struggling with the spiritual forces of darkness that are in the world as a result of Satan. Your spouse is not the enemy, though it may feel like it at times. It's not that they don't love you, even though they may say or do hurtful things. I guarantee you that they really do love you. The problem is that what is inside of them hates the God that is inside of you. Try not to take it personally.  Are they nice to everybody but you? You've probably got a spiritual warfare issue on your hands. This problem will be solved on your knees in prayer. Find a strong Christian friend that can pray and agree with you and be a sounding board. (Make sure that it is a same sex friend. It is not a good idea to have this person be a member of the opposite sex). Just keep praying!


Be thankful for the mate that God has blessed you with and show them some appreciation today for their good qualities! Pray for your partner today. If you're single, then start praying now for that Christian cutie that God is going to bless you with!

Sno Cone or Snow Cream..Its all a Matter of Preferences

Sno Cone or Snow Cream?

So, how do you like this colder weather we are having? I see on Facebook each day that some folks are praying for summer and warmer weather to hurry up and arrive, while other  folks are praying for snow. It's all a matter of personal preferences. It's all good to me. I can have some snow cream in winter and a sno-cone in summer. I like 'em both!

(As a side note, I don't understand Southerners and our love for snow cream. We would NEVER drink rain water, right? But we will scrape some snow off the top of our car and mix it with some Eagle Brand milk and vanilla flavoring and call it a treat! It's pretty gross when you think about it. It's the SAME THING as drinking rain water. But I'm not going to lie. If it snowed today, I would eat some!)

I'm sure you and your friends and family love to get sno-cones on a hot summer day. I love to visit the famous "Hills of Snow" sno-cone place in Smithfield. When I'm there, I don't get grape or cherry.  I can get that anywhere. I can make some grape or cherry Kool-aid at the house. When I go to Hills of Snow, I want to get the wild and crazy flavors. My personal favorite is to get "Mai Tai" flavor on one side and "Tiger Blood" flavor on the other side of the sno-cone.

(That Tiger Blood flavor is slamming! You need to check it out! I also recommend getting Wedding Cake on one side and Birthday Cake on the other side. Another good choice is getting Green apple or Sour apple on one side and then Red Candy Apple on the other. The flavors compliment one another well. What can I say? I'm a sno-cone connoisseur).

Now, when some folks go to get a sno-cone, they get either grape or cherry, because they like to stick with what they know. They don't like to venture out of their comfort zone. They figure if they try a new flavor, they might not like it, and they would rather get a flavor that they know they like. When some folks go to Baskin Robbins, they get either chocolate or vanilla. Not me, I want to try the newest, craziest flavor that they have. There's nothing wrong with being either way. It's a matter of preferences. When my youngest son was two, my sister was his daycare provider. She took him to the "Hills of Snow"  place one day to get a sno-cone. She asked him if he wanted a purple or a red sno-cone. Since he was two, she figured he could understand "purple or red" rather than getting into all the different flavors. He said "Umm, I'll have a tiga blood, please".  That's my boy! She just laughed and said to the cashier "Okay, I think he's been here before!"

Everyone has their little preferences and ways of doing things. There have been studies done on the percentages of people that like the toilet paper roll to roll from the top down or to roll from the underside. I saw on Dr. Phil recently that a husband and wife had major arguments about which way the total paper should roll. So the Dr. Phil show producers contacted some group of people like the Toilet Paper Manufacturers of America or something like that (I don't remember the exact name). Anyway, the toilet paper experts said that there really is no wrong or right way for the toilet paper to roll from the dispenser. Its all  a matter of preferences.
(Well, thanks for clearing that up. Might have stayed up all night wondering about that one.)

Many of the petty arguments that spouses, siblings, co-workers, neighbors, and roommates get embroiled in are often just a matter of preferences. Often, no one is truly right or wrong. Each side has their own opinion about the best way to handle the situation. Honestly, both sides probably have the best intentions and truly believe that things would go more smoothly if the other side shared their opinions.Sadly, a lot of the arguments that Christians get entangled with in their own churches are really just a matter of preference as well. Matters such as style of music, style of worship, sermon delivery style, leadership styles, and ways to administer programs within the church are all just a matter of preference. Your particular preference for a style of Christian music over another does not mean that your preference is more holy or sacred than someone else's. God made us different with our own set of likes and dislikes.

There are some matters that are not about preference. Jesus was the son of God. He died on the cross to save us from our sins. He rose again. He is The Way, The Truth, and The Life. That is a non-negotiable. He is the only way to Heaven. There are some things that are certain and are not up to individual preferences. Take the Ten Commandments, for instance. They are written in stone. (Get it? Written in stone. Ha! I crack myself up!) Seriously, there are parts of our faith life that are certain. God is the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. The Bible is the inspired word of God. Everything in the Bible is true.  Jesus was perfect and sinless. The only way to Heaven is to accept Jesus Christ. God loves everyone. Those are all non-negotiables.

However, there are certain parts of our church work and the way that we organize our churches that are a matter of preference. If you have struggled with another person's style of worship, style of Christian music, preaching style, or organizational style, or the way in which they use their gifts, stop and ask yourself, "Is this just a matter of preference?"

I was in a Bible book store recently and heard a woman LOUDLY complaining to another customer about everything that was wrong with her church. For several minutes she went on. "Well, I just told the Pastor so and so" and "that is not worship, I know what real worship is" and on and on she went criticizing the Pastor and the worship and all sorts of things about the church.  I so wanted to walk up to her and say "I bet you've won a lot of people to Jesus this year!"  However, since I just wrote a blog about minding your own business and keeping your opinions to yourself, I decided to keep my mouth shut! She was so loud and so mean- spirited in her comments, I purposely walked up to the front of the store so I didn't have to hear her any more. If her Pastor really needs that much help, maybe she should be at home praying for Him instead of throwing him under the bus at the Christian bookstore? I'm just saying!

If you have recently had a difference of opinion with someone in your life, ask yourself, "Is this just a matter of preference?" Seek to understand their point of view. Maybe you can agree to disagree!

Romans 12: 18 If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.


Hebrews 12:14 Strive for peace with everyone, and for the holiness without which no one will see the Lord.

Let us therefore make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification.

Finally...something you can stir up besides trouble!

In my previous blog, I discussed that God hates it when people stir up trouble among Christians.  The phrase "Stirring something up" is generally considered a bad thing and has a negative connotation, such as "stirring up trouble". Stirring up trouble is certainly something that should be avoided. However, there is one thing that the Bible does tell us that we are supposed to stir up. We are supposed to stir up the spiritual gifts that God has given us.

In II Timothy 1:6-13, Paul wrote to Timothy. He told Timothy, a young preacher, to "stir up the gift of God" that was inside him. He reminded Timothy that God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power, love, and a sound mind.

In essence, Paul was saying, to Timothy... "You have been saved, you have the Holy Spirit dwelling in you. Timothy, God has called you into His service. I place my hands upon you as a token of God�s call. Timothy, do not be afraid. God has given you everything you need. Stir yourself up and do what God asks of you."

Do you know what your spiritual gift is? Are you using your spiritual gifts? If not, stir up the gift that is inside you. It was given to you by God. Use it! Do not be afraid. God did not give you a spirit of fear. He gave you power, love and a strong mind!

Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others, faithfully administering God's grace in its various forms. 1 Pet. 4:10

Just as each of us has one body with many members, and these members do not all have the same function, so in Christ we who are many form one body, and each member belongs to all the others. We have different gifts, according to the grace given us. Romans 12:4-6a
 


Spiritual gifts include: Prophecy, Leadership, Administration, Healing, Apostle, Service, Teaching, Exhortation, Giving, Mercy, Evangelism, Pastoring, Intercessory prayer, Hospitality, Wisdom, Faith ,etc. (Different theologians break down this list and translate it in different ways. Not trying to get into a deep discussion on that. Just want you to understand  an example of spiritual gifts)

In addition to the spiritual gifts mentioned in the Bible, each of us also have individual natural talents such as drawing, singing, carpentry, cooking, athleticism. Those talents are usually present at a very early age. When my daughter was in second grade, I was called in for a conference with her teacher, Mrs. Rosemary Gatewood. She said, "Let me show you her Math notebook". I flipped through the pages of the Math notebook. I found many beautiful drawings. There were pictures of unicorns, princesses, girls performing gymnastics, lots of drawings of girls in bathing suits at the beach, kittens, puppies, mermaids...beautiful artwork...but, alas, no math. So...apparently, she's not going to be a mathematician. That's okay. We have chosen to develop the talents that she has by enrolling her in drama camp, buying drums and getting her drum lessons, purchasing art supplies, buying a saxophone and supporting the local band. Mrs. Gatewood was very understanding of Chelsea's creativity and "busyness" and worked very hard to find ways to keep Chelsea focused on her work that year, while still understanding her personality and strengths.

Many of us think that God cannot use us because of anything that we perceive as a weakness or that we have allowed others to convince us is a flaw in our personality.Every single person on earth has some kind of bad habit or character flaw.Every person on earth also has some kind of gift that they can share or something special about them that God can use. I have said in a previous blog..."God can use you in spite of your weaknesses. God may often choose to use you because of your weaknesses." You may need to work on your "areas for improvement" and ask God to hep you change, but that does not mean that you are disqualified from his service.

Start thinking about your natural talents, your personality, and your spiritual gifts and how they work together. I think my oldest son has the spiritual gift of evangelism. The story of Jesus' death on the cross was always his favorite Bible story. He wanted to read that one every  night when we read Bible stories at bed-time. When he was around four years old, he got a Easter story book in addition to his Easter basket and gifts from the "Easter Bunny". The whole book was about the Easter story.When he went to church on that Easter Sunday morning, he couldn't wait to show everyone his book. He was walking up to older people that had probably been Christians for seventy years and saying, "Do you know Jesus? Are you saved?" and trying to show them his book.

His personality and his individual strengths fit very well with his spiritual gift of evangelism. That boy can talk to anybody about anything. Doesn't know a stranger. When he was very little, he walked up to a stranger at Bojangles and invited him to his birthday party that afternoon. He is a very welcoming and accepting person and likes to talk to people, which is exactly the kind of personality and strengths you need if you have the gift of evangelism.

Sometimes our gifts and personality can get us into interesting situations. When my oldest son that I mentioned above, was about four and playing t-ball, he really liked his t-ball coach, Mr. Chris. One night he yelled out while on the baseball field. "Hey, Mr. Chris, why don't you come to my house tonight. My daddy's not going to be home!" Oh my goodness, I was so embarrassed. What he meant was that his Dad was working out of town at that time. He probably thought it would be fun to play baseball in the yard  with Mr. Chris, since his Dad would be working and not able to play with him that night. It was actually a compliment to his Dad and to Mr. Chris as well.  But that is not how it sounded. He made it sound like men came over to the house all the time when his Daddy wasn't home! It's funny now..but I was sooo embarrassed at the time!

I told that funny story to make a point. We have to remember that the characteristics of other people that might get on our nerves or embarrass us are just the very thing that God may use for ministry. Everyone is not going to be like you or have the same interests, giftings, or style of ministry. God chooses to use all of us, with our imperfections, to fulfill His purposes on earth. Don't question why or how God is using someone else. Focus on how He can use YOU!

“Now there are varieties of gifts, but the same Spirit. And there are varieties of ministries, but the same Lord. And there are varieties of effects, but the same God who works all things in all persons” (1 Corinthians 12:4-6).

If you are tempted to question how God is using someone's gift or giftings...don't. Work on stirring up your own gift. Don't be afraid. God has not given you a spirit of fear. He has given you power, love, and a strong mind! Stir up your gifts! 

The Dreaded Foot-In-Mouth Disease

I've heard of hand, foot, and mouth disease. Lots of children get it. There's also a very embarrassing condition known as foot-in-mouth disease. Lots of adults get it. I had a case of it today. Let me explain.

I put my foot in my mouth today, as the old saying goes. This morning, I ran into a man I hadn't seen in several years. I used to work with his wife. I wasn't sure if he remembered me. So, I said, "Your wife's name is "Jane", right? I used to work with her." He said, "No, I don't have a wife anymore, she left me." I felt soooo bad. What do you say at that point? I was embarrassed for putting my foot in my mouth by bringing up an uncomfortable subject. So, I went with the standard, "Well, I'm sorry to hear that."

 Note to self: In the future, don't assume people are still together. Just say hello and leave it at that!

A friend texted me from work recently to share how they had just put their foot into their mouth. My friend asked a co-worker if she was pregnant (because her tummy was all poked out)...and she wasn't! Ouch!

Note to everyone: Never, ever assume anyone is pregnant. If they are and they want you to know, they'll tell you. Otherwise, don't even go there!

Sometimes other people put their foot in their mouth regarding YOU! That's a little more fun..but barely. My youngest son was born on a Sunday. The Monday night of the next week, eight days later, I went to a PTO meeting at school. Someone walked up to me and said, "Girl, when are you going to have that baby?" What could I say? I just smiled weakly and said, "He's at home with Grandma".

One night this week, I did not get enough sleep and I felt tired the next day and apparently, looked tired as well. I met with a client at work who is mentally challenged. When I met him outside, I greeted him and made a comment about how the wind was blowing my hair and messing it up. He said, "Yeah, and your eyes look bad, too".

Note to self: Children and mentally challenged people will tell you exactly what they think about the way you look. If you don't want to know what they think, keep your mouth shut!

Obviously, when it comes to kids or mentally challenged individuals, we have to overlook anything they might say about us. But as adults, what is our excuse? A good rule of thumb for adults to remember is the famous line uttered by mothers for many years, "If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all".

A few years ago, I was picking up a pizza and ran into a former co-worker in the pizza restaurant. He and I had worked together in another pizza restaurant when I was in high school and college. This guy was somewhat "different", a bit eccentric you might say. (I'm being as nice as possible). After he walked to the back of the restaurant, the man operating the cashier made a negative comment about my former co-worker. I laughed and said, "Yeah, he and I used to work together. He's a real character. Is he still married to that crazy lady?" The man operating the cash register said, "Yeah, she's my sister." 

Okay....what have we learned from this experience? First of all, don't talk negatively about people. Nothing good comes of it. Second of all, if someone else is talking negatively, that doesn't mean its a good idea for you to join in. Thirdly...this is Johnston County, people. Everybody is related. Keep your mouth shut! LOL!(Just kidding!) In all seriousness, the bottom line is this...what I said was mean-spirited and I had no business saying it. I had to get embarrassed in order to learn my lesson.

Now, my next piece of advice is strong. So take a deep breath. Okay, are you ready? Here goes:
If you ever have to say, "Well, if you ask me...."  that probably means that nobody asked you!
 That was rough, I know, but its good advice. Everybody does not want or need to know what you think about everything. Some things are best kept to yourself. How did I gain so much "wisdom" on this subject? Because I've messed this one up so much! Proverbs actually says that only a fool vents all his feelings. In another scripture, Proverbs also says that even a fool seems wise when he remains silent. Once your words are uttered, you can never take them back. You may apologize, (and there are times that you should!)but you can never completely repair the damage that words can do. Think before you speak. Often, you may need to pray before you speak! You may find that God wants you to remain silent.

Proverbs 18:13
He who answers before listening- that is his folly and his shame. 

Finally, there are some situations where a Christian does need to speak up. If you are aware of situations where someone is in danger, someone is being hurt, if it involves illegal  activity or anything regarding harming a child, then its probably a good situation for you to speak up or get involved. Otherwise, stay out of it! Do not get involved in other people's petty arguments, verbal disagreements, etc. If you hear someone talking about another person, its not your job to go and tell the person that you heard someone talking about them. That is only going to stir up more hard feelings.

Proverb 6:16-19 says
These six things doth the LORD hate: yea, seven are an abomination unto him:
 A proud look, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood,
 An heart that deviseth wicked imaginations, feet that be swift in running to mischief,
 A false witness that speaketh lies, and he that soweth discord among brethren.

The Bible actually says that God hates it when people stir up trouble among Christians. That's strong!

Christians have no business spreading gossip. If someone has shared one of their struggles with you recently, do not spread it. Be a person of integrity and keep confident the things they asked you to keep confident.

Proverbs 11:12-13
A man who lacks judgment derides his neighbor, but a man of understanding holds his tongue. A gossip betrays a confidence, but a trustworthy man keeps a secret. 

 1 Thessalonians 5:11  says: Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.

If you have concerns about a situation involving another person, pray about it first. Ask for wisdom, ask God to intervene in the situation. We are supposed to encourage people and lift them up. In most situations, if it is not speaking life into a situation, remain silent. Don't speak negatively into someone's life.

However, there may be unavoidable situations where you have to give someone bad news. You may have to tell someone that you have discovered their teenager is doing something illegal or dangerous that they need to know about. You may have to tell someone that one of their relatives has a substance abuse problem. If the reason that you are telling the person is in order that someone might get the help they need, then you are on the right track. Pray and ask God to give you the grace to help you deliver the news.

As a social worker, I have had to deliver difficult news to families that I worked with. That is never easy. I always made a point to ask God to give me the right words to say and to prepare the person's heart to take the news well. If you have bad news to deliver, consider praying to prepare yourself before beginning the conversation.


(Random Free Advice: If anyone ever comes to you and says, "people have been coming up to me and saying so and so about you"...  I'm telling you right now, mark my words, you can take it to the bank...the person that just told you that has been talking about you. Learned that one the hard way many years ago. Trust me on this one.)

Being the bearer of bad news is not an easy job. Being the receiver of bad news is no picnic, either. If you have received bad news recently, spend some extra time in prayer and ask God for His picture of the situation. 

Things always look differently from a heavenly point of view!

What Kind of Message Are You Sending?

Today has been an interesting day to say the least. 

I taught children's church during the 9:00 am service. I had just enough time (so I thought) to run to Dollar Tree just down the street and pick up a few extra stickers for our craft before the 11:00 am service started. Of course, the line was long and the cashier was moving at a snail's pace. So, I only had a few minutes to spare when I sat down in my vehicle and opened my purse to get out my keys and head back to church. Suddenly a confused woman opened the driver's side door where I was sitting and tried to get in my car! At first, I didn't realize who it was and didn't know if it was a man or woman or rapist or car-jacker or whatever, and I screamed. I think I scared her more than she scared me. Once I looked at her and my brain had time to process what had just happened, I realized she was just confused and I probably could have beat her up if I had to! However, I continued to be startled and nervous from the scare of having my driver's side door yanked open. I was so befuddled and confused that I then couldn't remember where I had put my keys and spent five minutes looking through my purse and my church bag for my keys. I ended up being late for children's church and had about 13 kids waiting for me!

After church, I met a friend for lunch at Denny's. I told the waitress that she looked just like someone I knew.(She really did). I think she thought I was trying to flirt with her. (Trust me, I wasn't).  When I told her that she looked like someone I knew, she winked at my friend. After I left the restaurant, she told the person that I was eating lunch with, "Your girlfriend is cute". Apparently, I sent the wrong message. I'm thinking I may have to go to Shoney's next time I'm craving breakfast for lunch.

Okay...I've learned some valuable lessons today. Let me make a public service announcement:

1. As soon as you sit in your vehicle, lock your door. Do not look your keys first or crank the car first.
2. NEVER tell anyone that they look like someone you know, even if they really do. They will think its a pick-up line.You don't want to send the wrong message.

You have to be careful these days about what kind of message you are sending.
I talk to my children frequently about how they need to be careful about what kind of messages that they are sending, especially online. Many young people have gotten turned down for colleges or scholarships or jobs because a potential employer or interviewer viewed that young person's MySpace page and found inappropriate content or careless comments.

I'm sure you've read people's FACEBOOK posts about where they are going to be all day long or when they are going on vacation and how long they are going to be gone. Even though its not inappropriate, that's not a wise message to send, either. It lets folks know when would be a good time to break into your house! I'm sure you know adults that love to get on FACEBOOK and rant and rave about who they are upset with. My kids have a cousin who likes to complain about his job on Facebook. What's going to happen when his employer reads that one day? Think about the messages you are sending.

You have to be careful about what kind of message you are sending, whether its posting things online, sending text messages, or speaking to another person. Our words have power. The Bible says that you have the power of life and death in your tongue.The Bible has a lot to say about the power of your words and the importance of guarding your speech.

Ephesians 4:29 Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.

Matthew 12:36 I tell you, on the day of judgment people will give account for every careless word they speak,

Proverbs 16:24 Gracious words are like a honeycomb, sweetness to the soul and health to the body.

Colossians 3:8 But now you must put them all away: anger, wrath, malice, slander, and obscene talk from your mouth.

Proverbs 13:3 Whoever guards his mouth preserves his life; he who opens wide his lips comes to ruin.

James 1:26 If anyone thinks he is religious and does not bridle his tongue but deceives his heart, this person's religion is worthless.

Matthew 12:37 For by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned.

Proverbs 21:23Whoever keeps his mouth and his tongue keeps himself out of trouble.

Proverbs 29:20 Do you see a man who is hasty in his words? There is more hope for a fool than for him.

Proverbs 15:1 A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.

Psalm 19:14 Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in your sight, O Lord, my rock and my redeemer.

Proverbs 15:4 A gentle tongue is a tree of life, but perverseness in it breaks the spirit.

Proverbs 15:2 The tongue of the wise commends knowledge, but the mouths of fools pour out folly.

Proverbs 17:27 Whoever restrains his words has knowledge, and he who has a cool spirit is a man of understanding.

Romans 12:14 Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse them.

Luke 6:45 The good person out of the good treasure of his heart produces good, and the evil person out of his evil treasure produces evil, for out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks.

Proverbs 25:11 A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in a setting of silver.

Proverbs 17:28 Even a fool who keeps silent is considered wise; when he closes his lips, he is deemed intelligent.

Well, according to the verse directly above, if you want to seem smarter...say less! That's powerful. So, on that note...Good Night and God Bless!

Are You Following the Right Instructions?

I bought a new Coach purse yesterday! Guess how much I paid for it? $300? No, even less. $150? No, even less. $100? Lower. $50? Even lower.....  Well, at this point, you are saying to yourself, "Girl, you didn't buy a Coach purse for less than $50. You might have bought a Couch purse or a Coash purse, but you didn't buy a real Coach purse for that price!"  Well, I paid a low price and the purse has Coach written on it. That's all I know. The fabric has C's written all over it. Now, those C's might stand for "Copied" and "Counterfeit"...but I'm going to carry that thing just like its the real thing! I didn't have a brown purse to go with my brown shoes and now I do. That's all that matters to me. For me, when it comes to purses, they don't have to be real. I don't like to pay a lot of money for my purses. You can't have a low price and a real Coach purse. Sometimes, you just can't have it both ways.

I parked in front of a store yesterday and noticed that the neon sign on the door said "Open" and the flip sign in the window said "Closed". Obviously someone forgot to change one of the signs. There was a problem with the message being sent. You can't have it both ways...you are either open or closed.

This summer my children and I went through all of my recipe books and selected several recipes that we wanted to try. When we try a recipe, we all decide after dinner whether or not we like the dish enough to cook it again, or if we just want to throw away the recipe. I found a recipe for shepherd's pie. We tried it one evening this past fall and it was edible...but something was missing. It wasn't great...it was "okay".  My daughter said, "It was okay, but it would have been better if you added more green beans". My oldest son said, "It was okay, but it would have been better if it didn't have any green beans". Okay...so how do I fix that problem?You can't have it both ways.

Since that time, I have checked out some additional shepherd's pie recipes and asked a couple of friends what they put in their shepherd's pie. Well, it turns out, my shepherd's pie never had a chance. My recipe called for tomato soup. All of the other shepherd's pie recipes that I found called for cream of mushroom soup or something similar. No wonder the thing didn't taste right. I followed the directions exactly.  I did everything the recipe asked me to do, bought all of the ingredients, and cooked it at the temperature and length of time that the recipe called for...but it just wasn't right. The problem was that I had flawed instructions!

Today, there are a lot of counterfeit messages and mixed messages regarding life, religion, spirituality, etc.  You can read a lot of books that sound good, sound inspirational, etc. but our basic instruction manual was written thousands of years ago. It is The Holy Bible. Its our road map, our guide, our GPS, our sword, our weapon, our answer, our inspiration. Please don't misunderstand me. I love to read and I love books. I particularly enjoy devotionals and self help books. I love to study psychology, counseling and social work related materials. I'm not suggesting that the only  book you should ever read is the Bible. (I'm hoping that any doctor that ever operates on me or one of my family members has read some medical textbooks in addition to the Bible!) I just had to use a dictionary because I was spelling the word counterfeit incorrectly! There's nothing wrong with that.

However, when it comes to some of the "spiritual" writings that are in print today and some of the "mysticism" out there, I encourage you to please be very careful. Just like my shepherd's pie, you don't want to follow flawed instructions. There are some books that sound "bible-like" but they are not the Bible. There are some things that sound spiritual, but they were not inspired by the Holy Spirit, and they are actually very dangerous.  Anything that you read as a guide or as a plan to live by, should agree with all Biblical principles. If you need a book on finances, choose a book on finances that lines up with scriptural principles. Find out what the Bible says on finances first and then find a book about handling your money according to scriptural principles. If you need a book or resources on marriage, parenting, substance abuse, weight loss, or whatever your issue, I encourage you to use a concordance or online search to see what the Bible has to say on that topic. Then, search for Christian authors who are experts in the area in which you need help.

Sometimes, its okay to have a counterfeit. My daughter wanted some Uggs boots. Well, I saw the price. For right now, she's going to have to settle for some "Fuggs" (Fake Uggs). That's okay, she likes her new boots. However, when you are dealing with spiritual issues, you absolutely must insist upon the real thing. There is only one way to heaven and that is through Jesus Christ. There is only one inspired Word of God...and its The Holy Bible. Do not accept a counterfeit message and do not follow counterfeit advice!

I encourage you in this new year, to develop a habit of daily Bible reading. If you aren't a fan of reading, find a Bible on CD. You can listen in your car or while you are getting dressed each morning There are Bible plans you can research online that will help you read through the Bible in a year. If you struggle with reading the Bible, maybe you should try a different translation that is easier to read. Try the Everyday Bible or The Message translation. Go to a Christian bookstore and see just how many Bible choices there are! Google "through the Bible in a year" and see what resources are available to help you read through the Bible this year.

2 Timothy 3:17 All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness.

Romans 15:4 For everything that was written in the past was written to teach us, so that through endurance and the encouragement of the Scriptures we might have hope.

2 Timothy 2:15 Study to show yourself approved to God, a workman that needs not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth.

Set aside time today to get into the Word!

A New Year, A Whole New You!

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So, its January 6....How are you doing on those New Year's Resolutions?

My children and I went to the gym last night. We have been to this particular gym on several occasions and my children reallly enjoy it. However, last night when we were about to enter the room with the weight equipment and cardio equipment, my children were a little nervous about entering the room, because they had never seen the room that crowded before. My daughter said, "Let's don't go in there, there are too many people". I  reassured her to  just go in and exercise and have fun. I told her, "You don't know them and they don't know you. Don't let them keep you from getting your exercise. Besides, come February you will never see half of them again!" We all went in the exercise room and had a great time. On the way home, the children commented on how good they felt about what they were able to accomplish at the gym. 

I don't know what new thing you have committed to do or change about yourself in 2012. Maybe you are going to stop doing something, such as smoking or overspending. I have resolved to continue to lose weight and to reach the 100 pound weight loss benchmark by spring. I was in the gym last night, working towards that goal. My kids wondered why I told them that they would never see half of the folks in the gym again come February. I'm sure you already know why I said that. Gyms are always crowded in January because so many people make New Year's Resolutions to lose weight or exercise more.

Have you noticed that on the week after Christmas, stores like Wal Mart and Target replace the empty shelves and aisles that were once filled with Christmas decorations with things like Protein shakes, Special K cereal, granola bars, Slimfast, and exercise equipment? Because they know we will buy it in our hope to improve ourselves for the new year. Yet, before long, those aisles of healthy food and weightloss items will be replaced with box upon box of Valentine' s Day candy! If everyone really stuck to our New Year's resolutions and goals the Valentine candy would stay on the shelves and the stores wouldn't order so much next year. They put the candy on the shelf because they know we will buy it! (Wouldn't you like to get a hold of a Whitman's Sampler right now? Yeah, I know you would. You don't fool me...you eat the good caramel ones first and leave all the nasty ones with the gooey green and orange stuff inside... And after all the good chocolate is gone, you finally eat the Jordan almonds, even though you don't really want them. I know you do.) 

So, if so many people don't succeed at their New Year's resolutions, why do we keep making them? Hope for change!

Whatever you want to change or improve upon in 2012, commit it to God and ask for HIS help. Maybe you can't do it by yourself. But, with GOD, all things are possible. You can do all things through Christ, who strengthens you! 

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Psalm 37:5 Commit your way to the lord, trust in Him

•Proverbs 16:3 Commit to the Lord, whatever you do, and your plans will succeed

 

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Maybe you have given up on even making any New Year's resolutions, because you have learned from previous experiences that you do not stick with them. Are there areas for improvement in your life? Ask God to show you where you need to improve or change. 

“Search me O God, and know my heart, test me and see if there is any evil way in me”

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 Do you know what plans God has for you?Maybe HE would like to help you change, so that you can have the abundant life that He came to give you (John 10:10). Maybe he has improvements and plans for you that are beyond your wildest dreams, "exceedingly abundantly more than you could ever even ask or think!" (Ephesians 3:20). I saw a sign outside a church that read, "Have you included God in your plans, because He has Plans for you!" God had a plan for you before he formed you in your mother's womb. He knew you, personally, before the earth was even formed! Jeremiah 29:11 says "I know the plans I have for you, plans to give you a hope and future!" Psalm 139 says that you were fearfully and wonderfully made. God has plans for you, Baby!

 

•Proverbs 19:21 Many are the plans in a man’s heart, but it is the Lord’s pupose that prevails

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Psalm 33:11 But the plans of the Lord stand firm, forever, the purposes of his heart through all generations

It is possible to know God's will for your life. If you want to know God’s perfect and acceptable will, you must have a renewed mind. Romans 12:2 says “And be not conformed to this world; but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable and perfect will of God. If you want to know God’s perfect and acceptable will, you must have a renewed mind. If you truly want to be transformed, or changed, you must renew your mind. In order to renew your mind, you have to think about what you are thinking about. Proverbs says "As a man thinks in his heart, so is he". That means that you will become what you think about. You will also have what you say. Have you spoken curses over your own life? Do you speak negative words over yourself that cancel out those changes you want to make and those blessings you want to receive? If the truth were told, you are probably your own worst enemy. You probably say more bad things about yourself than anyone else does!

If you want true and lasting change or improvement in 2012,

1. Commit everything you do to God. Ask Him for His will

2. Think about what what is good in every situation. Talk about what is good in every situation (Phillipians 4:8)

3. Talk about what you want to see happen . Keep talking faith, even if things gets worse! (Even if circumstances look pretty grim. Don't be moved by anything you can observe with your senses)

4.Proclaim God's Word, his actual promises over your life and your situation. 

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5. Believe, in faith, that what God said He will do, HE WILL DO! Speak to the negative situations in your life and tell them to be moved, in the name of Jesus. Ask and believe in His name (Mark 11:24). Now you might feel a little crazy, you might have to do it at home, behind closed doors, with the blinds pulled, when no one is home but you...but just do it. Begin to declare some things out loud, in the name of Jesus! We can speak to the mountains in our life and they can be moved, in the name of Jesus!

Joyce Meyer says that many years ago, she made a list of the ways that she wanted to change,. She wrote down the things she wanted to be, even though she was not yet that way at the time. She declared that she was already all of those things. She used the Biblical principle of "calling things are are not as though they were".She wrote it all down on paper and read it out loud and declared it each day. An example would be : "I am patient. I am a diligent worker. I eat healthy. I exercise every day. I read my Bible daily and I am growing spiritually...etc." Make your own list and declare it each day.  I'm starting mine now: "I am skinny...I am organized, I am debt free...I am a rich man's wife" (LOL!)
I can't wait to see what God is going to do in you and through you in 2012. I stand in agreement with you that God is going to remake a whole new you in 2012!

2 Corinthians 5:17 Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away, behold, all things are become new.

I declare that "He who began a good work in you will bring it to completion in the day of our Lord Jesus Christ!"