Do you have any pet peeves? You know, the one thing that just drives you crazy and totally gets on your nerves? A pet peeve is something that really pushes your buttons. I've noticed that you can get a lot of insight into a person when you ask them about their pet peeves. Ask some friends or co-workers about their pet peeves and you will get some interesting answers. When I teach foster parent training classes, I have the participants go around the room and share the "pet peeves" they have that are related to parenting. Inevitably, someone in the group will always say that it really bothers them when a child lies to them.
One of my pet peeves is related to lying. As we know, lying is a sin. There is no such thing as "a little white lie". A lie is a lie and it's wrong. It's just that simple. However, there is one particular lie that drives me crazy and is my personal pet peeve. Let me explain. I understand why a child lies to avoid getting a spanking. I understand why someone says "the check is in the mail" even when its not. I understand why someone says "No, that dress looks fine. It doesn't make you look fat at all." I understand why a husband says to his wife "No, she's just a friend," or "I had to work late" when he's up to something he should not be involved with. I know why kids boast and brag or why mothers give fake alibis for adult children charged with a crime. I understand why a person lies in these situations. Its still wrong. Its still a sin, but I understand the motivation behind the lie. I don't judge people for their lies. A lie is a sin just like any other. Everyone has to answer for their own sins. Another person's lie is none of my business. My job is to pray for them. However, the one lie that is my business....the one lie that does concern me.... the one lie that is my personal pet peeve, is when someone lies to me about me.
Does that make sense? Do you understand what I'm trying to say? I mean when someone actually tells you a lie about you. If you think you've never had the experience of someone lying to you about you, let me explain. When someone says to you, "You think you are so..." they are lying to you about you. They have no idea what you think. When someone questions your motives and says "You did that because you wanted to..." they are lying to you about you. They don't know why you do the things you do. When someone tries to re-create history and says "that never happened," (even though you know it did), they are trying to lie to you about you. When someone says you are stupid, lazy, worthless, etc. they are lying to you about you. When someone says you are going to fail or in some way tries to predict failure or defeat for your future, they are trying to lie to you about you.
You do not have to listen to someone lie to you about you. Other people may try to lie to you about you and that is extremely frustrating. However, please understand that often the lies that other people try to get you to believe about yourself often come from the devil. The Bible says that our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against powers and principalities. In other words, its not the other person that is your problem. The problem usually is related to the way in which the devil is trying to use the other person's words to hurt you, push your buttons, or to keep you from doing something that God has called you to do. The devil is the father of lies and the author of confusion. Recognize the true source of your problem. Its very easy to let other people push your buttons and to put up with things that a child of God does not deserve and does not have to put up with. Respectfully stand up for yourself as a child of God!
One night last year, my Mom and Dad had come over to my house around 10:30 or 11:00 pm to help me fix something. Normally, they would never be at my house at that time of night. While they were there, I received a phone call from some one that was upset with me and did not agree with a decision I had made. Unfortunately, rather than "agreeing to disagree" or calmly sharing with me why they did not agree with me, the person verbally attacked me. To use a good old Johnston county term, I basically got "cussed out". The person who called me did not know that I had other adults in my home at the time of night. They would never had said the things they did, had they realized that they were talking so loudly that everything they said could be heard through the phone by my mother who was in the room with me. I tried to defend my choices and explain the situation, but the person I was talking to would not listen to me. My mother kept saying, "Just hang up the phone. You don't have to listen to that." After the phone call ended, my mother talked to me and said,"Look, you do not have to hear that. It's a telephone call. You can always hang up. There's no reason to sit there and let someone talk to you like that. It's crazy to put up with that".
You know what? She was so right. It is ridiculous to let someone verbally abuse you on the telephone when all you have to do is hang up. You don't have to put up with someone accusing you, calling you names or using foul language towards you in any situation. It's even CRAZIER to put up with it on a telephone that can so easily be hung up. Why would you listen to someone lie to you about you? The same principle applies to any lies that the devil uses to try to attack your mind. You don't have to listen to it. Don't put up with it. Don't let him accuse you, call you names, threaten you, make you worry, live in fear, feel inferior or unworthy. He's already been defeated. The God that lives inside you is greater than the devil that roams the world looking to start trouble with you! When the devil tries to lie to you about you, you don't have to accept it. Renounce it as a lie. Say what the word of God says about you. The Bible says that we can resist Satan lies and refute them with the truth of the Word of God. "Submit to God, resist the devil, and he will flee from you!"
(Check out a book called The Complete Promise Bible for Women. Its organized by topic. You can actually look up a particular issue and it lists the specific scripture references that you can quote over your own self or situation. )
Never underestimate the power of quoting the Word of God over yourself and your situation. The truth about you is what GOD says about you. If someone calls you stupid, you renounce and refute that lie with the Word of God. Example :"I have the mind of Christ. My mind is being renewed".
Now, you may have people say things about you that are hurtful, but are not technically a lie. For example, if someone calls you fat because they are trying to hurt your feelings...and you know that you are truly fat...well, that's hurtful and mean, but its not a lie at the time. However, you work to make it a lie. You talk to God about it and start calling things that are not as though they were. You say to yourself and to God, "I am not fat. I am healthy. I am strong. My body is a temple of the Holy Spirit. I am getting healthier every day. I am losing weight. I will lose ___ pounds." Then go out there and start working towards your goal. (I used the example of being called fat because that's my own issue. Apply your own issues that you personally need to work to overcome!)
The devil will allow people to push your buttons in hopes that he can keep you sad, lonely, defeated, and depressed. John 10:10 says that the devil is a thief that has come to kill, steal, and destroy. For years, every time someone called me fat, cursed at me, called me names or in some way hurt my feelings, the first thing that I would do to try to comfort myself was to go get something to eat! How ridiculous is that! It only made me fatter. Do you see how the devil set me up to fail and to destroy my own self? I cannot blame another person for my choices. My weight was something that had to be dealt with between me and God and by refusing the devil and not allowing him to push my buttons. With God's help, I want to be in a position one day that if someone calls me fat, I can honestly say, "That's a lie!"
Recently, I let someone's words upset me and make me cry. Later that evening, I went to church. Shortly after I sat down, the minister said in his sermon, "Why are you letting the devil push your buttons? You are letting him control you. The devil is defeated...but he's not stupid. If he can control you by pushing your buttons, he will!" That was a word for me...I needed to hear that. Don't let lies, hurtful words, ugly names, or accusations push your buttons or control you. (Remember how I allowed being called fat to keep me fat? Crazy, isn't it?)
The devil may have come to kill, steal, and destroy....but the second part of that verse says that Jesus came that you might have life...an ABUNDANT life! Start claiming the life that you want to have today. You know what? You've got a lot to be thankful for and you have a lot going for you. Don't believe any more lies. Don't ever let anyone else ever lie to you about you. Did you know that you can even be guilty of lying to you about you? Anytime you tell yourself you are dumb, worthless or that you never do anything right, you are lying to you about you! Start saying the truth about you. You're smart, you're kind, you love your family, you work hard, you have talents, God loves you, you know how to do lots of things, you like to help people, you have friends, you love your kids, you like to look nice, you like to make people happy... SEE? You're AWESOME..and that's the truth!
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