In my previous blog, I discussed the importance of hearing from God and then taking the next step towards understanding what God has spoken. Even when we are on track with our listening and following up to get understanding, we still have opportunities to falter. We can hear what God is telling us and understand what he wants us to do and STILL not do it!
Last Friday night, I went to a friend's house and heard all about this WONDERFUL cranberry walnut chicken salad sold at the WalMart deli. It was late and I hadn't eaten anything but a couple of cookies since lunch, so I decided to pop in WalMart and try out this famous chicken salad on my way home. I ran in WalMart, eager to try the delicious deli chicken salad that my friend had raved about. With my bag of chips and tub of chicken salad in hand, I headed back to my car and thought I might try a little "taste test" while sitting in the dark Wal Mart parking lot. Something spoke in my spirit and said "don't eat that". It was after midnight and I was starving, so I kept trying to pry the seal open on the chicken salad container. Again, I heard "don't do that". So, I put my chicken salad aside and headed home. Having the house to myself, I quickly got comfy with my pajamas and the tv remote, grabbed the chicken salad and settled down to enjoy my tasty treat. I pried open the chicken salad tub and looked down in horror. My tasty treat was covered in a furry, (almost hairy) mold! Yuck! What if I had eaten that in the dark while I was sitting in my car? I would have never seen the fungus among us! Thank goodness I listened and followed the leading in my spirit.
I have learned that you have to listen to God's voice and obey even in small matters, even when it seems trivial, even when you don't understand, even when you don't like it!. I have had some positive experiences over the years when the Holy Spirit has impressed upon me to go in a certain store that I don't normally go in. While in there, I found just the item that I needed for a special project or gift that I had been searching for. At other times, I have also felt led to buy a certain thing or to bring something with me in my purse when I am leaving the house. Often the item is not something that I would normally carry with me. Inevitably, I will run into someone in need or come across a situation in which I or another person need the particular item that I have. I used to feel silly or try to argue in my own mind about whether or not I was going to follow something I felt led to do. I have just learned that if I feel led to do something, I need to do it and stop questioning whether or not its going to make me seem silly or strange.
(Warning: When I refer to being "led", I am not referring to those times that you think you feel "led" to give someone a piece of your mind or feel "led" to straighten out that screaming child in the grocery store or feel "led" to buy that new pocketbook or eat that cheesecake. That is your flesh. I am talking about feeling led in your spirit to do something!)
We all have our "wall of fame" moments when we feel led to say something encouraging to someone or to call someone or send them a card. The person later tells us that we said "just the right thing" or says, "God must have told you what to say, because that was exactly what I needed to hear at that moment". Maybe we feel led to give someone a hug at church and when we hug them, they break down crying in our arms and tell us something that they are going through. Then we have an opportunity to minister to them or offer encouragement and prayer. Those moments makes us feel so good, because we "got it right". We heard from God. We were led by the spirit and we followed the instructions and someone was blessed.
Then, we have our "wall of shame" moments when we feel led to do something and we don't do it! Or we specifically hear God telling us not to do something...and then we do it any way.
Ouch! Been there done that. I have had some colossal "wall of shame" moments. I went to someone's house one day and they were not feeling well. I felt led to lay hands on them and pray for them. However, I felt uneasy about asking if I could pray for them, because I didn't know what they might think. This person had known me at times when I had not made some good choices and to be honest, I was reluctant to pray like that in front of them. So, I just said "I hope you feel better" and left their home. Well, before the day was out, they got worse, passed out and an ambulance had to be called and they were taken to the emergency room.
I honestly think that some of my other disobedient moments have actually changed the course of my life. A few years ago, I embarked on my first Daniel fast. I needed breakthrough in my life. I was praying and believing for revelation and deliverance in a certain area of my life. God revealed something to me during that time of fasting...but he did NOT tell me to do anything about what I discovered. Unfortunately, I decided to take matters into my own hands. As I was preparing to take action and in the process of acting on this information, I specifically felt in my spirit that I should NOT do what I was about to do. Now, what I was doing was not illegal, immoral, or unreasonable and was what anyone in that situation would have done. BUT I specifically felt in my spirit that I should not take that course of action....and I did it anyway. To be honest, my life has never been the same since. I was praying and fasting for deliverance and breakthrough and for answers, but then when I didn't get the answer that I liked, I didn't follow God's leading. Not smart!
Okay, so I blew it. Everyone does at times. Why is that so bad? The problem is that I had already been through this same test previously and had failed it previously! A few years earlier, I had been praying during a difficult time in my life and God led me to a scripture in Chronicles. The latter part of 2 Chronicles 25:9 says "...And the man of God answered, "The LORD has much more to give you than this." I know the Lord led me to that scripture and I know what God was telling me in reference to my personal situation. But I just wouldn't trust Him enough. The following Sunday, I visited a friend's church on Sunday morning to hear her daughter sing. It was extremely rare for me to miss services at my home church on Sunday morning. I had never heard this pastor speak before and haven't heard him speak since. On that very morning, guess what his sermon topic was...guess what scripture he preached on?? Oh yeah, you already know. He preached on 2 Chronicles 25:9. "THE LORD HAS MUCH MORE TO GIVE YOU THAN THIS!" Now folks, that was confirmation. Not only had the Lord led me to his Word and given me a rhema word from scripture concerning my situation, he had also had Christian friends and relatives telling me the same thing. Then, on that Sunday, he led me to this church service to hear this message and confirmed it in a miraculous way. The handwriting was clearly on the wall. The message was clear.. "TRUST GOD...HE HAS SOMETHING FOR YOU! Don't settle for less!"
I wish I could tell you that I took that leap of faith. I wish I could tell you that I took Him at his word and followed his leading and trusted Him...but sadly, I didn't. I'm sitting here crying tears of regret while I type. To be perfectly honest, I can truthfully tell you that I have cried buckets of tears since that day. The two situations I mentioned above are only two examples, but they literally changed the course of my life. I'm sure that one day I will be in Heaven and find out what my life would have been like had I followed God's leading at that time.
I don't want to end this blog on a sad note. The good news is that God can restore us when we make mistakes. God can use our failed tests as part of our testimony. Romans 8:28 says "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." My goal for today's blog is to encourage you to follow what you feel God leading you to do (Or NOT to do!)...even when it doesn't make sense, even when it tests your faith, even when you don't like it!
James 1:22 (New Living Translation) But don't just listen to God's word. You must do what it says. Otherwise, you are only fooling yourselves.
Matthew 7:24 "Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock.
Matthew 7:26 But everyone who hears these words of mine and does not put them into practice is like a foolish man who built his house on sand.
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